Extreme Makeover: Comic Book Edition

   Well as most of you know by now, we here at OAH (Our Amateur Hour, I'm gonna call it OAH sometimes) are sports people. But we all had humble beginnings. Me? I was a nerd. Still am actually, who am I kidding? I love video games and Game of Thrones and Star Wars and superheroes. Legit nerd.

Favorite issue by far!

   The problem here lies with my love for superheroes. Well, comic books characters in general. You see I grew up watching them come to life on cartoons and fell in love with the characters and their worlds! Later, I discovered that my father has an extensive collection of the original comics. (Apple doesn't fall far from the tree I suppose) I remember being allowed to only open a few that weren't in mint condition and that was it. I was hooked. Now what's the problem you ask? It's this. Today the comic book industry is over-valuing what social media and pop culture wants to the world to be and forgetting that their characters are already perfect!

    What is your problem you might be asking? Comics are being changed to fit everyone else's fancy. Now before we all grab the pitchforks and torches in the name of tolerance, hear me out. I'm all for equality and change and the pursuit of one's own happiness, but what is so important about bringing this into every facet of our day to day lives? Can't comic books just be comic books, without succumbing to peer pressure?

I'll forgive them if you do...

   Superheroes change constantly in these worlds, I get that. Dick Grayson takes over for Batman here, a new Green Lantern is chosen there. That's fine! But that's a fun surprise. It's lost a little luster now. Like I mentioned about Green Lantern, it's ok that one comic series has an Arabic Green Lantern. Why not? I mean the ring could choose a pig man or insect or even Ryan Reynolds.... So yeah.. That stuff doesn't bother me at all. What does bother me is the other Green Lantern being published. The recreation of Alan Scott as a gay man. AGAIN! Do what you want. But resurrect the first Green Lantern and make him gay? I just feel like that's uncalled for. Openly gay heroes have been in comic books since the 80s! Have a whole comic book series about homosexual superheroes! Heck, even kill Archie Andrews off to protect Kevin Keller, a gay Senator! (SPOILER: That happened) Just don't alter one of my all time favorites for publicity! Who knows, maybe people want to see everything change. I don't mean to sound bitter or demean anyone with this. I am just merely stating my opinion.

   Another hot-button issue with readers is the fact that modern comics are starting to replace heroes with people of a different race. Now this one I'm not so upset with. It's been done over and over. Nick Fury has been two races in his career and even Tony Stark loaned the Iron Man armor out to the African American, War Machine. The new Spider-Man is half Latino half black, but he isn't Peter Parker, he's Miles Morales, and Falcon (another African American hero) has taken up Captain America's shield for awhile. These changes should not be as troubling to everyone as they seem to be considering the fact that the character has not changed, but only the hero wearing that particular suit. Sometimes you have to know when to lay your weapons down and let someone else take over. I get that.

  What I don't get however, and this may be the real reason for this post, is how these authors intend on changing mythology! Yes that's right, I'm talking about Thor. The God of Thunder, Son of Odin, and Prince of Asgard is now....a woman. You heard me right. He is now a she. Now, Loki has been adapted as a female character for some time now, but no one cares about Loki honestly. Thor on the other hand should probably not be messed with. As the new adaptation will go, Thor loses the ability to wield Mjolnir and a woman who apparently is also Thor comes along and takes over? What? Is she his twin? No. She is Thor. Not Thorita. Not She-Thor. Thor. Does this not strike you as odd? I mean what is the point in that really? This changes everything about who he was. It's not easily transferable like race and sexual orientation. Plus, he's a God! You can't just change that stuff! It feels sacrilegious even.

  The world of comic books is ever adapting and that is just fine. I say adapting instead of changing because honestly what's changing? The good guy is Superman, the bad guy is the Joker, and no one cares about Aquaman. It doesn't matter what color or sexual preference the superhero is as long as they are in the suit. We as readers adapt. When you try to change these stories however, you will start messing with the space and time we nerds keep up with so well. Thor can't be a woman in our minds. Alan Scott wasn't a gay man. We have already experienced these characters lives. Don't make them relive something new or you could change everything.

  Oh and if all these new adaptations are being made because you think the average comic book reader cares about what is happening in today's world, think again. It's in the comic book world we escape today's sensitivities and we are fine with the solidarity of it all. I mean look at us. Does it look like we are keeping up with the times?

May the force be with you,

Taco